Let's blog this bitch!

Before you continue to read, you need to understand 2 things about me.... #1) I do not conform to the constraints and "rules" set forth by the English language. I does shit different. 2) I do not conform to anything... That person who marches to the beat of a different drummer? Well, that is me except I don't even march and fuck the drums, unless they're played by Animal of the Muppet's. Yeah, that's right! I roll to some old school Muppet's Take Manhattan shit you prolly ain't ever even heard of.

I'm still not sure why I want to blog, other than to save my boyfriend countless hours of hearing my stream of consciousness rantings on any given day. My boyfriend (Frank) shall remain nameless, so we'll just call him by my pet name for him, Princess Cupcake Purtymouth, esq... What other alias would you use for a 6/2, 300lb offensive tackle?

I think my friends will also appreciate my blogging because it will reduce the random "Do you think if I glued all my fingers and toes together, I'd be a better swimmer" type text messages. I like to text people random shit that pops in my head cause you never know what's going to be the one idea that has the "Snuggie" effect and I like to have witnesses before all my good ideas get stolen by the man.--I'm not saying I invented the Snuggie. I'm just saying I spent many a night in a backwards fucking robe and got nothing to show for it.

Makes me also wonder whatever happened to the kids of Kriss Kross?.. They wore their shit backwards all the time... I bet they're broke as fuck and really pissed off they didn't come out with the "Snuggie" back in the day. I for sure would have bought a Cross Color Snuggie. Hell, I'd buy one now if they were available...I'd buy two, cause I'm sure Princess will want one as well.

I think my family will enjoy my blogs too...By enjoy, I mean they're gonna be embarrassed as fuck and ban me from Christmas. But whatever!!! These are the same people who had me watch their children by luring me in by buying comic books and renting the Star Wars trilogy...I was pretty much brainwashed into nerdity by my family. How do you like them apples family!?! Our ugly truth laid out for the world to see.

Not for nothing, but being a Star Wars nerd in Humboldt Park is a kin to being a gay dude in the Republican party. Once that shit comes out, you have NO street cred and you might as well walk around with a sign that reads kick my ass and call me a Jedi....(Not gonna lie, the second part of that was kinda cool. Hehehe!)

Anyway, I think we can all agree that my blogging will be either the greatest blog on the internet, or the biggest most epic disaster causing all my relationships to publicly implode... Either way, it's a good time.