Yeah, it’s been a minute since I’ve entered my own
blogosphere…Life get’s hectic sometimes. For example, I wrote this last week and just got around to publishing it.
For those of you that have missed my insights, I’ll provide
a brief recap of my thoughts on a few current events:
Kristen Stewart cheating on Rob Pattinson
First off, it took me this long to figure out his name is
Pattinson and not Patterson… Which kind of is a tip off that I don’t give a
fuck about either one of these two… Actually, there aren’t many celebs I give a
fuck about since I broke up my BFF fantasy with Kim Kardashian (I’ll miss you
Kimmer). HOWEVER, that doesn’t diminish
my interest in seeing how this plays out.
Every once in a while a celeb story/scandal pops up that even the most
disconnected of us can relate to… Very few people can say that they’ve never
been cheated on. Those that CAN honestly
say that are lucky, if not delusional. Those
that HAVE been cheated on will have little sympathy for her or the two-timing
senior that she slept with…For now, all the sympathy seems to be directed
towards Rob and the whatshername model wife of the other dude. Like I said, I don’t give a shit about either
of them, but the more I read the more I want to hug him. This dude seems like a nice feller who fell
for the wrong girl really fast… So I’m laying odds that he forgives her. Good people tend
to do stuff like that, only to get shit on later. They’ll get married and have a few initially pale babies, only to divorce later on down the road because one of those babies
looks more like a werewolf than a vampire...On the other hand he’s freakishly
hot, so on the road to forgiveness he may bang a few starlets before deciding
that he may not be so mad at her after all. In a perfect world he would bang
the super-hot wife of the very same director Kristen banged… Yeah, I do miss me
some All My Children.--Please note: George Clooney is on a yacht somewhere in
Italy laughing at this shit.
Chicago joins Boston to ban Chick-Fil-A
So a recent headline on my local Google machine read “Chicago joins Boston in Chick-Fil-A Ban.” Keep in mind, I’m not one for the news cycle
beyond my ESPN and DeadSpin updates and iO9.com keeping me tethered to the
nerdiverse… I’m even less interested in the news during an election year, but I
like myself a Chick-Fil-A sammich, so naturally I read on… My conclusion: The
level of hypocrisy with this Chick-fil-a banning in Chicago is absurd. First I
will stipulate that the CEO of Chick-fil-a is a fucking moron, or a “clucking”
moron…Bar-hump, bump! However, I wonder
how the hypocrite head of City Hall would feel if let’s say the equally
moronic/misogynist/hate-filled Joe Ricketts were to air his views on gay
marriage? Would we ban the Cubs and their money machine? I double-dog dare
someone in the media to ask Mr. Ricketts what he thinks of gay marriage. I triple-dog dare anyone at city hall to put out a questionnaire
to the top employers of Chicago and ask their CEO’s what they think of gay
marriage, or abortion, or any hot button issue. If we were to continue to ban
companies from coming to our city based on the racist/sexist/homophobic and
down-right ass-backward point of views of their respective CEO's, or economy
would collapse completely. This is
another example of right position, wrong action. Hey Rahm, get up there and call Dan Cathy (President of
Chick-Fil-A) an asshole and force his company to provide benefits to married gay couples, or those in same sex partnerships as a condition of allowing Chick-Fil-A to come here. Don’t get up there and act like we can’t use the
jobs in Chicago. If it was me, I’d be like… “Yeah, you can come here but you
need to provide 300 jobs and you need to understand that nobody gives a fuck
about what you think about gay marriage so shut the fuck up! Dick!” JOBS are needed in Chicago more than rhetoric.
If Rahm wants to make a point, he also needs to take action against those in his
party who feel the same as Dan Cathy. Call them out as the civil rights
infringing bastards that they are. If these fucktards worship the sanctity of
marriage, then they should ban divorce.
But no, they want to profess that marriage between a man and a woman is
something we should hold in reverence, yet these assholes will laughably get
married 3 times in their life cycle. Man, I loathe hypocrisy. As if allowing
two consenting adult dudes to marry will have more of a negative impact on
marriage than the 72 days Kim Kardashian was married to Kris Humphries. These mayors have given Dan Cathy an audience that he doesn't deserve and allowed him to be the voice for narrow minded whack-jobs who think these extreme views are grounded in divine superiority. I find it ironic (by ironic, I mean fucking
disgusting) that the assholes who mutilated a young lesbian woman in Nebraska and carved anti-gay slogans into her body have more rights NOW than she does (edited for accuracy in reporting). That’s what these bans do…They galvanize the crazies into thinking they are morally superior and at “war” with the opposing
side which allows them the freedom to say and do the most atrocious things they
could think of to get their point across…Banning a chicken joint and depriving this City of much needed jobs isn’t going to do shit to eradicate this type of hate and bigotry. Calling Dan Cathy a prick would at least be honest and seem a lot less condescending and pandering. Calling out the rest of his party members in congress and those whack-a-do state representatives who are banning civil liberties would be more productive, as well. Rick Santorum should be forced to eat Chick-Fil-A till his evil little arteries get clogged. Call me crazy, but wouldn't it be helpful if these "leaders" who are so outraged by Dan Cathy's comments use their collective outrage to put forward legislation that would mandate that Chick-Fil-A's (and other companies run by homophobic CEO's) employment package included recognizing same-sex partnerships/marriages as a contingency for setting up shop in their cities. HEAVEN FORBID Rahm give Mr. Obama a call and demand he repeal the Defense of Marriage act like he promised in 2008. Instead he's going to play big city mayor and not even attempt to do something meaningful... So, let's pull the Muppets out of happy meals, deprive the city out of jobs and tax revenue and call it a victory for civil rights. Idiots!—It also
should be noted that there is lesser point to be made about the absolute hilarity
that we’re following Boston’s lead in social justice issues. Boston is all about equality and hockey, unless you’re black and poor, but mostly black.
The Olympics
I love the Olympics and since I rarely
watch network TV anymore, so I’m not going to be one of the many who will bitch
about getting their schedule all botched up… I look forward to very sexy flexy
types from all countries engaged in sport.
However, NBC can go scratch. I don’t like
how they played Ann Curry and I'll very likely follow the Olympics mostly via
the interweb…. Which brings me to…>
Ann Curry and the Today Show Drama
Did it ever occur
to the execs at NBC that Matt Lauer is the fucking problem? I mean the ratings still suck and Ann Curry
is gone… Maybe he isn’t the sunshine behind the rainbow after all. Maybe he rode on Meredith and Katie’s coat
tails. Maybe, just maybe, America is
sick of Matt Lauer.
Think about it… The last time Matt Lauer
looked good was when he was interviewing Tom Cruise. A colossal asshole like TC is pretty much the
only individual who can perhaps make Matt Lauer more sympathetic.
Personally, Matt Lauer gives me the creeps…
And I don’t watch the Today Show because I’m not over 55 and lay up with
thrombosis.
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